Know-it-alls...don't. It's impossible. No one can understand everything from different perspectives. The smarter the person, the more the person realizes how much they don't know. The smart people listen and watch. By doing so, they are open to see or hear something that will spark more thinking on their part.

I've quoted Jeffrey Gitomer who continually says, "I don't care if you know something, I care how good you are at something?" Intelligent people realize they are not perfect. Intelligent people always know that there is something to learn so keep their eyes and ears open, all the time.

Know-it-alls are of the school that they know a particular topic (usually many) already. There is no such thing as a different perspective...only their own perspective is right. You can not add value to such individuals because they already know it all. Even if you are of the same perspective, these individuals will find something wrong with your statement to elevate themselves (in their own mind). These individuals rarely offer to help but offer their point of view often.

Arrogance is characteristic of those that think they are know-it-alls. A nasty tone is heard in their voice or in their emails. It is his or her way of controlling the situation. This is because arrogant people need to show off their opinions that they are better than others (self-esteem issue). If they control the situation, others will not challenge what they don't know. The arrogant tone expressed by the know-it-alls will reflect the voice of a critical parent. Telling you how stupid you are to challenge their authority.

Arrogant people are nasty. And frankly, I'm sick and tired of being around them. Unfortunately, sometimes it seems there are more nasty people than kind people. It is just easier to be nasty. It is easier and comforting to think from your own perspective than being open to more information from a different perspective.

Some arrogant people obtain positions of power over kind people...but not for long.

The digital world will cripple arrogance.

I witnessed someone responding to a recruiter about how a resume was nowhere near what he wanted in a candidate. The response was rude, condescending, insulting and arrogant. The interviewer was quick to say how his point of view was right and the interviewee was wrong. In fact, the interviewee was stupid.

Personally, I didn't think the resume was that much off the mark but that doesn't matter. Listening in, I just hear two different perspectives. Sometimes you just don't like a candidate. That's fine and the interviewer's choice. A simple, "I would like to see candidates with this specific skill (or perspective)" would have been sufficient...and kind. What wasn't fine in this situation is how the interviewer responded.

Arrogant people tend to forget the impact of today's technology. It doesn't matter that you are frustrated and stressed for time. Your own character is diminished if you do not respond with respect (an indication of kindness).

Nowadays, information can be sent or posted with a photograph, an audio recording, or an email to ANYONE! Think about it. Which story do you want to propagate over the Internet (in audio, video, picture, or text): your arrogance or kindness?

While the interviewer was trying to control the situation by expressing his know-it-all point of view, his arrogant character was displayed in full force. One thing this interviewer did not take into account is that stories of rudeness experienced or witnessed by someone travels faster and farther than ever before. The Blogosphere is full of stories about nasty occurrences. These types of stories always wind up on page one of a google result (the interviewer's story included).

Kindness is not a weakness.

Getting someone else told off may feed the ego but it never attracts friends. Arrogance feeds your ego and does not lead to career opportunities. People do not go out of their way to help arrogant people; they go out of their way to help kind people.

Kindness pays, always! In Napoleon Hills book, Think & Grow Rich, he stresses the impact of being kind. He explains that kindness is not becoming a doormat for others. Kindness provides opportunities to add value. One that provides value in a kind way is never a doormat. Arrogant people may try to treat kind people as a doormat but it never works.

I witnessed a client, Barry, going out of his way to help another. Barry did not have the expertise but knew someone that did. "May I virtually introduce the two of you? My contact may have a perspective that may provide you insight and help you think through your problem."

Barry didn't have to offer any help. Barry didn't have the expertise to help directly. Barry was comfortable enough to know that he didn't know something but could add value by facilitating a meeting. Barry was KIND and offered an introduction. It doesn't matter if the other person took the offer. What is remembered is that Barry is kind. This is smart thing to do because kind stories also spread. This one was heard by an executive that mattered.

Kind people are rare. It takes effort to be kind. Kindness requires that you build your level of self-esteem and become comfortable with what you don't know. It takes dedication to want to continually be kind and add value. Being a kind person is a totally different perspective on life. Kind people look to add value first. Arrogant people want to show off what they know (and do not realize that they are showing what they don't know).

About 1 in 100 people that I meet are kind. They are nice and offer value with no expectation of return. These individuals are the first that come to mind when people ask me for a contact for employment.

Kind people have a comfort-level or self-confidence to continue moving forward even if they don't know all the answers. They are comfortable not being in total control of any situation because the fear of not knowing everything does not hold them back. Kind people are open to learning by asking themselves "how good am I" at something. Kind people listen for opportunities to add value...not show off their knowledge.

Kind people are noticed by executives because these individuals are so rare. Great leaders notice kind people because kindness is an essential skill for any great leader. Kind people are offered great opportunities to grow that arrogant people are too stupid to see. People flock to kind people. People follow kind people. Kind people become great leaders.

Back to the original question...What can you do if you must work with arrogant and nasty people?

1. Understand that his or her tone is an attempt to control what you see.
2. Remember, know-it-alls don't EVER know it all. Your ideas are just a different perspective.
3. Accept that you do not know everything. Listen to understand the others' perspective before you speak.
4. Be kind yourself. Do not stoop to their low level of existence. Others are watching.
5. Offer help at every opportunity. Stories of your kindness will travel to the right people.

Be kind...it is an important leadership skill.

SBDi speaks both Business and IT languages. Bring SBDi in to help communication between both organizations. Let us help you find the right flexible solution that will help business increase revenue.

Pat Ferdinandi, Chief Thought Translator