When you walk into a meeting, do you shake a person's hand every time? Of course, that means that you are on time…meaning at least 5 minutes before the meeting is scheduled to start.

This is the perfect opportunity to build individual bonds. Be bold, shake everyone's hand in attendance. Firmly, without striving to break the person's fingers.

Shaking hands is a personal relationship builder. It gives you an individual opportunity to find out who the people are, where they work, their roles. It gives you a personal opportunity to identify and tailor how you can provide value to each individual.

If you already know the person, this gives you an opportunity to build upon the relationship. It gives you an opportunity to express something personal that you both know (and can publicly share) about each other. "Hey, Joe, how did your son do in the last hockey game?" or "Gee, Martha, did that family event go as planned?"

What about colleagues? Who says you can't shake their hands? If you shook others in the meeting room, shake the hands of colleagues as well. It's not so much for the colleague as it is for the other attendees to observe.. What would it look like to them if you don't shake everyone's hand? It means you respect only some people.

If the meeting is just between colleagues, then it is your choice. You may choose to not shake hands, but I do recommend the personal greeting that includes something personal between you and each individual.

What if it's a large meeting of 50 to 100 or more people? Then shake the hands of a few.

When I give a speech, I am at the event before it starts. I try to meet as many attendees as possible. If I shake their hands before the presentation, I have already started bonding. I may not get to everyone, but most people (that arrived before the presentation) saw that I shook people's hands. It says that I'm approachable and care about the audience.

If I'm not the one presenting, I try to sit among people I DO NOT KNOW. I then introduce myself with a handshake. If there is interest, I'll offer my business card or ask for the other person's business card. (HINT: If your company does not have a business card, you can always print your own. They're cheap! Do it and make it say something about what value you can provide others. I carry at least 2 different business cards-- always!) If I get a business card, as soon as I sit down I write down what value I can provide this person. Notice I didn't say, what can I get from this person.

If you notice what type of wristwatch they are wearing when you shake their hand or what shoes they are wearing, your eyes are in the wrong place. You should be looking into the person's eye. Pick one eye on which to focus. Looking at each individually will create a shifty eye appearance in yours. That is not something you want to show the other individual.

BTW, if you can not tell me what color eyes the person has after the handshake, you weren't looking closely enough. This takes practice. You want to be able to identify the color quickly. If you stare, that creates an uneasy feeling in the person as well.

I don't care what mood I'm in, I will always display an enthusiastic greeting. I am, and want to portray, that I'm thrilled to meet or see this person. Positive attitude is contagious. Giving a positive feeling handshake with bright eyes always makes the other person happy to see you. Even if they are in a crappy mood, you have temporarily broken their current sad cycle. Wow, now isn't that valuable to the other person.

Make it easy for the person to know you as well. Many people make the mistake of putting their name tag on the wrong side. Most people are right-handed in a handshake. Even left-handed people will extend their right hand for a handshake. That means their eyes are already looking towards your right shoulder. If that is the case, why do you put your name tag on your left side? Just because it is easier for you to pin yourself with it on your left doesn't mean it is easier for the person you want to greet. Remember, it isn't about you…it's about making it easier and more comfortable for the person you want to meet.

You can not make sufficient small talk after the meeting has started. You can only shake hands and introduce yourself personally if you arrive before the meeting starts. After the meeting starts or ends doesn't work to your benefit.

The end of the meeting handshake serves as a closer. It's an opportunity to wish those you know personally well on whatever personal activity he/she is involved in. It is an opportunity for those you have just met to remind them of what you will do for them in the very near future. (Hint: keep to your word. That will set you apart!)

A handshake says a lot about you. If you press too strongly, you are a dominator. If you press too softly, you're a wimp. Firm handshakes occur when you greet palm to palm. Your fingers wrap around the other's so you can feel their fingers (not crush them). The shake is firm if either hand does not jiggle in the others. The shake is firm enough so the other person can pull away when desired. The proper handshake shows confidence and respect. Make sure the hardness reflects both simultaneously.

A more demonstrative handshake can only occur when you have a good working relationship with the person. This is when you put another hand over the two of yours that are already clasped. It is when you touch their forearm in the beginning or end of the conversation. This is a familia-paisano type handshake. It should only occur if you have known the person for a length of time and truly believe that the two of you have a positive and friendly relationship.

Use every opportunity to properly shake a person's hand.

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Pat Ferdinandi, Chief Thought Translator